One day a kid was sitting at home waiting for his relatives to come
 over. He overheard his parents fighting with each other yelling "YOU
 BITCH" "YOU BASTARD". Being so young, the kid had never heard those
 words before and asked his parents what they meant. They replied by
 saying "Bitch means lady and bastard means gentlemen". Satisfied with
 this answer the boy went to his room. Then he heard the neighbors
 having sex. They were repeating the words "DICK and "CUNT" over and
 over and over. Again, the boy was curious and asked his parents what
 those words meant. Thinking fast, his mother said "Dick means coat and
 cunt means jackets." Once again the boy was satisfied with the answer
 and headed to the bathroom, but his father was shaving and the boy had
 to wait. Fearing that the boy might wet himself, the father shaved
 faster. He went a little to quick and ended up cutting himself,
 "SHIT!!!!!" he yelled. "Whats shit mean daddy," the boy asked . The
 father, stuck for an answer said, "it means shaving cream." The boy
 did his "business" and his dad went back to shaving. His next stop was
 the kitchen, there he saw his mother preparing the turkey. As she
 reached for a knife she ended up cutting herself. "AW FUCK!!", she
 yelled. "Whats fuck mean mommy", the boy asked. "It means stuffing the
 turkey." Finnaly, the guest arrived, the boy went to the door and
 said, "Hello bitchs and bastards, may I take your dicks and cunts?
 Dads in the bathroom putting shit on his face and moms in the kitchen
 fucking the turky!