[From Kabir Helminski's _Living Presence_, p.55, the chapter entitled
"Tyranny of the False Self"]

Egotism is difficult to see when we most need to see it; this is
because we are identified with it at the moment that it has its
greatest effect on us. The ego has many modalities:

Some of us are performers; all we need is to have the attention of
others and we begin to puff up with self-importance. The desire is to
prove that we are better than others.

Some of us are martyrs who enjoy the wrongs we imagine others are
doing to us because they feed the strangely pleasurable sensation of
self-pity.

Some of us are always busy; we constantly pursue our mundane and
heartless goals, which we consider more important than sharing time
with others. We hide behind our busyness and, fixated on a limited,
isolated self, we avoid relationships.

Some of us are cynics, never free of a critical attitude toward
others. Perhaps frustrations have left us powerless, and our only
defense is this cynicism.

Some of us are murderers, murdering others in our minds, thriving on
anger and judgement, never willing to credit good to anyone.

Some of us are angry because others have not fulfilled our
expectations. This usually means they have not shown us the degree of
importance we feel we deserve.

   All of these modalities arise from a denial of love. The only way
to deal with such separation is to step back and recall what drew us
into relationships in the first place, assume some goodwill, and be
humble enough to consider our own faults. This can free us of the
"I-thought." Eventually we can learn to be more and more free of our
self-centered thoughts and expectations, asking little of others
except what they are, seeing the best in them, and showing patience
and tolerance.

   Egotism is the very devil itself, a limitless source of envy,
resentment, and pride. A healthy passion for life is a gift, but we
need not let this passion become fixated on the desires of the limited
self.

   We can transform this egotism by substituting more of "we-ness"
instead of "I-ness." We can cultivate the "we-feeling" and feel our
strength and value in our relationships.

   Some of us use spirituality to increase self-importance and
specialness. We cover egotism with the appearance of humility and
selfishness with the appearance of generosity.

   We have to get right down to the fundamental changes in ourselves
that are necessary, and this requires sincerity. We become free of the
self-motive by becoming nothing. And we can become nothing by limiting
our habitual self-centered thoughts. This will cut at the root of our
egotism, as ego exists in our thinking. Habitual, unconscious thought
may be motivated by desire, fear or frustration. If we can regularly
experience at least a relative freedom from egotistic thought by
intentionally interrupting the habit of mechanical thinking, by
entering into direct perception and presence, we can undermine the
structure of fear and selfishness. We can unlearn our own deep
conviction of ourselves as isolated, separate, and limited entities.