From the Laugh of the Day List (see bottom)
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Carl Zwanzig: "Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a
dark side, and it holds the universe together...."

Douglas Adams: "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody
discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will
instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already
happened."

Albert Einstein: "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human
stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Unknown: "Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting
thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things."

Edward P. Tryon: "In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer
the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which
happen from time to time."

John Andrew Holmes: "It is well to remember that the entire universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others."

Max Frisch: "Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that
man doesn't have to experience it."

Kilgore Trout: "The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest."

Woody Allen: "I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe
when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

Douglas Adams: "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has
made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

William J. Broad: "The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass
of the universe seems to be missing."

Rich Cook: "Programming today is a race between software engineers
striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe
trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is
winning."

Fred Hoyle: "There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't
know what it's a plan for."

Ray Bradbury: "We are an impossibility in an impossible universe."

Christopher Morley: "My theology, briefly, is that the universe was
dictated but not signed."

Edward Chilton: "I'm worried that the universe will soon need
replacing. It's not holding a charge."

Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson): "The surest sign that intelligent
life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact
us."
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