Comparison of Religious Theory in the Late 20th Century

 
 Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.
 Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.
 Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
 Anglican - They were our toys first.
 Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.
 Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
 Atheism - There is no toy maker.
 Polytheism - There are many toy makers.
 Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.
 Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.
 Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go
   straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
 B'Hai - All toys are just fine with us.
 Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
 Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
 Mormonism - Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
 Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second.
 Hedonism - To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
 Hinduism - He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
 7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
 Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.
 Baptist - Once played, always played.
 Jehovah's Witnesses - He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
 Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.
 Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.
 Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
 Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's
   just play with them.
 Agnosticism - It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of
   difference.