The Spoon

I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in
the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a
little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy
came with water & tableware; he, too, sported a spoon in his breast-
pocket.

I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys,
etc. had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our 
order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?"

"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some Andersen
Consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after
months of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop
spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil at a
frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all our
workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the
kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5 extra man hours per shift."

Just as he concluded, a "ch-ching" came from the table behind him, and
he quickly replaced a fallen spoon with the one from his pocket.

"I'll grab another spoon the next time I'm in the kitchen instead of
making a special trip," he proudly explained.

I was impressed. "Thanks. I had to ask." "No problem," he answered,
then he continued to take our orders. As the members of my dinner
party took their turns, my eyes darted back & forth from each person
ordering and my menu. That's when, out of the corner of my eye, I
spotted a thin, black thread protruding from our waiter's fly. Again,
I dismissed it; yet I had to scan the room and, sure enough, there
were other waiters & busboys with strings hanging out of their
trousers.

My curiosity overrode discretion at this point, so before he could
leave I had to ask. "Excuse me, but...uh...why, or what...about that
string?"

"Oh, yeah" he began in a quieter tone. "Not many people are that
observant. That same efficiency group found we could save time in the
Men's room, too."

"How's that?"

"You see, by tying a string to the end of our, eh, selves, we can pull
it out at the urinals literally hands-free and thereby eliminate the
need to wash our hands, cutting time spent in the restroom by over
93%!"

"Oh, that makes sense," I said, but then thinking thru the process, I
asked "Hey, wait-a-minute. If the string helps you pull it out, how do
you get it back in?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the other guys; but I use my
spoon."