Bill Gates dies He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. 

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a
computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly
Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case:
I'm going to let you decide where you want to go." 

Bill replied, "What's the difference between the two?" 

St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will
help your decision." 

"Fine, but where should I go first?" 

"I'll leave that up to you." 

"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first." 

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters
and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing
and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was
very pleased. 

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see
heaven!" 

"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went. 

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing
harps and singing. It was very nice, but not as enticing as Hell. 

Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think I'd
prefer Hell," he told St. Peter. 

"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two
weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he
was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall in a
dark cave, screaming amongst hot flames, being burned and tortured by demons. 

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill. 

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This
is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't
believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the
beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?" 

"That was a demo," replied St. Peter. 

Another Bill Gates Humor

God finally had enough and decided to end the world. However He wanted to warn
the people so He gathered Bill Clinton, Fidel Castro and Bill Gates into one
room and told them of His plan and to go out and inform the world. 

President Clinton immediately appeared on CNN and told the U.S. "I have good
news and bad news. The good news is, there IS a God. The bad news is He is
going to end the world. 

Fidel Castro went to the Communist network and told them. "I have bad news and
worse news. The bad news is, despite what we have taught all these years,
there IS a God. The worse news is, He is upset." 

Bill Gates turned to the internet and informed the world. I have good news and
better news... The good news is, God thinks I am one of the three most
important people on earth... the better news?..... I won't have to upgrade
Windows 98........